PickUp Lines for NonMuggles
by Rahainia
Summary: Never let it be said that the Wizarding World can't be creative...or opinionated.


A/N : Please feel free to submit additional lines in your reviews or email them to me. Chapter 1 one reposted due to bad formatting on the first attempt. Bad, Rah...please send yourself down to the Dungeons for detention with the Slytherin of your choice. fans self

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It all started at a little café in Diagon Alley. The proprietor had wished to incorporate a little humour into the dark times that now seemed to consume them all. Of course, the students of Hogwarts appeared to making the most out of his little idea, but it wouldn't be long before others joined in…it was the nature of wizards, after all, to be both vocal and competitive.

A wall of the café had been _scourgified_ – all blemishes, dents, holes, pictures, dirt, grease had been removed, as well as stains whose origins the proprietor did not wish to even contemplate upon.

Top centre of the wall, in an old-fashioned script lettering, the words "Pick-Up Lines for Non-Muggles" could be read.

HPHPHPHPHPHPHP

1. Quidditch players do it better on brooms.

_- I heard Crabbe got slapped for this one. (Harry)_

_- Crabbe gets slapped by any girl he approaches. (Ron)_

_- And boys. (Blaise)_

2. Your broom closet or mine?

_- This one actually works! (Neville)_

_- Did you give or receive it? (Hermione)_

_- Ummmm…. (Neville)_

_- Received. (Hermione and Ginny)_

3. I can Transfigure into your Prince Charming.

_- Sorry, but there's one Draco Malfoy. (Pansy)_

_- And for that, we are eternally thankful. (Lavender)_

4. I see your wand is as big as mine.

_- It's not the size that counts! (Blaise)_

_- Yeah, it's all in the wrist. (Angelina)_

_- Care to demonstrate? (Lee)_

_- Mr. Jordon! (Professor McGonagall)_

5. I can make you shriek like a Mandrake.

_- I have an aversion to killing my partner. (Ron)_

_- She might deflate a bit, Weasel, but you can't kill a blow-up doll. (Draco)_

6. Care to be in Slytherin? Care to have a Slytherin in you?

_- That's gross on so many levels. (Cho)_

_- We don't hear you saying no. (Draco)_

_- That's because we're too busy throwing up at the very idea! (Ginny)_

7. Hufflepuff'll blow you away.

_- Yeah, with all of their hot air! (Blaise)_

8. You've cast a spell over my heart.

_- Boo! (Gryffendor)_

_- Hiss! (Slytherin)_

_- Groan! (Hufflepuff)_

_- Ugh! (Ravenclaw)_

_- Did Professor Snape write this? (Professor Sprout)_

9. My tea leaves said we'd meet today.

_- And that's why I drink coffee. (Hermione)_

10. You. Me. Bed.

- ­_This has to be Krum's idea of a pick-up line. (Ron)_

_- Did it work, 'Mione? (Lavender)_

_- Oh look, I'm late for class! (Hermione)_

_- Hermione?...'Mione???...oh… (Ron)_

11. You've charmed me into speechlessness.

_- But if you **say** this, you obviously aren't speechless! (Hermione)_

_- That's not the point. (Harry)_

_- It's called "romance", girlfriend. (Parvarti)_

_- Puh-lease…she went to the Yule Ball with Krum! Like that oaf can even utter words with more than one syllable. (Draco)_

_- Hey! (Krum)_

_- Defense rests. (Draco)_

12. Is that your wand under your robes or are you just happy to see me?

_- Finally! A line for the girls to use! (Ginny)_

_- And why do you need a pick-up line? (Ron)_

_- I agree…you're so pretty…you don't need…urrrrgh (???)_

_- If anyone's looking for Neville, please try the Infirmary. (Fred, George, Ron, Harry)_

13. I think I've Diagon to heaven. (died and gone…Diagon….get it?)

_- Tonks, I didn't realize you were so good at word play. (Lupin)_

_- I'm good at other forms of play, too. (Tonks)_

_- Get a room, you two. (Harry)_

14. I'll show you my Patronus if you'll show me yours.

_- Hey, Weasel, I hear your Patronus looks like a Flobberworm. (Blaise)_

_- At least I know how to use my Patronus. (Ron)_

15. You make me want to howl.

_- Awwww….Remus! (Tonks)_

_- I didn't write this! (Lupin)_

_- But do I make you want to howl? (Tonks)_

_- Yes. (Lupin)_

_- For the second time, get a room, you two. (Harry)_

16. The Veela in me says you're the Chosen One for me.

_- I think I'm going to be sick. (Blaise)_

_- This is so bad, it must have been written by a Ravenclaw. (Draco)_

_- At least we know how to write. (Ravenclaw)_

17. You bring out the wolf in me.

_- Before you two start – directed to Tonks and Lupin – get a room. (Harry)_

_- Please. (Harry)_

18. Did you just accio me over to you?

_- Albus! I thought you said you would never use this line again? (Professor McGonagall)_

_- I am merely passing my knowledge on to the younger generation. If it worked on you… (Professor Dumbledore)_

_- EWWWWWW! (All students at Hogwarts)_

_- Gagh…the image is burned into my mind! (Draco)_

_- Did Fawkes have to watch? (Ron)_

_- I think Harry's just fainted. (Hermione)_


End file.
